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life is about letting go
In:AcceptancePositive

Life is about letting go

May 16, 2018May 15, 2018

Our weekend just gone was a bit crazy. It was almost a movie title “Three Birthdays and a Mother’s Day”! It was my mum’s 78th birthday, hijacked by my husband’s 50th birthday party, and then my dad’s 80th – followed by magical Mother’s Day. The lead in was my excuse for missing my weekly blog post for the first time since I began in late November last year.

Reflecting on life

In the lead up to the culmination of these events, I have indulged in spending time writing a speech for my husband and a photo book “essay” for my dad on these milestone birthdays for these, my nearest and dearest men. I say “indulged” because I think, particularly these days, where our life stories are told in snippets of photos or quick-witted comments on social media feeds, we rarely take the time to reflect in this way, let alone take the time to record our thoughts in writing.

I had also asked every guest attending my hubby’s birthday bash to send in one of their memories of him and a photo with him, which I compiled into a hanging gallery that formed a fairy lit canopy over our back deck. Their words hung with their photos and have left Craig feeling overwhelmed as he has spent time in the days following reading over heartfelt words and funny memories.

I also asked several others to speak to each decade of Craig’s life – his childhood, his teen years, his care-free singledom, his married life and his more recent decade as a parent.

The words said and the sentiments expressed made Craig’s night – and they have had me thinking.

How important it is to stop and mark special occasions.

What a blessing reflection can be.

How our actions speak to others. People never forget how we make them feel.

What power our words carry and how meaningful they become when we take the time to express them.

Letting go

But it was Craig’s own speech that touched many of our guests, when he spoke about how hard he finds it to let things go. He spoke of how he is not by nature a person who seeks out new experiences. He prefers instead to stick with the known, the comfortable, the good. Yet he recognises, that life is not about staying still. It is about growing and changing and moving from one phase to another, one season to the next.

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past, letting go is knowing that there’s a future” Daphne Rose Kingma

It is true isn’t it? From the “little things” like trying new foods, to the bigger things like traveling to experience different cultures; from enjoying the single life, to becoming a parent; from have little, to enjoying a bit more – all of these things require us to let go of what we are used to and to turn to face the unknown.

Craig shared a story about how hard he found it to let Zigi run ahead of us to cross at the school crossing independently – not because he didn’t think Zigi could do it, but because just days earlier he almost ran out in front of a car. As parents I think many of us know the feeling of having your heart in your throat, of watching from a distance and not being close enough to reach out – all part of the sometimes painful part of letting go, to move from one season to the next.

I pity the poor boys Teja might date in her coming teenage years! Craig will not be letting her go easily either!

The strength it takes

Sometimes we get the choice to let go and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes people leave our lives or things are taken away from us or lost. In some ways not having a choice about letting go can be harder because we haven’t had the time to prepare or process in advance. But either way there comes a time when there is a point of no return and our hand must loosen its grip, stop reaching and instead let go.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” Herman Hesse

I recently read about how we as parents often use distraction or diversion if we are trying to get toddlers to let go of one toy to move onto the next thing – as an analogy of how sometimes we hold onto things too tightly that we miss out on the better things. I totally agree with this, and yet I also know it to be trite in circumstances where we don’t have hope for “the better thing”.

In these moments, Craig and I take comfort in our faith – in the belief that when we let go, God takes over. It is for us (as the serenity prayer espouses) having the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom

Whatever your beliefs, it seems to me that these are the three keys to letting go – acceptance, courage and wisdom.

Serenity comes when we accept the things we don’t have power over. Courage is needed to take the next steps into the unknown, to embrace the changes and to grow…older if we must. And wisdom comes from the multiple experiences in life when we learn to discern, when to keep reaching out and when to just let go.

Looking back over your life, what are the things that have been the hardest to let go? What helped you to finally loosen your grip?

Acceptance, change, courage, letting go, serenity, strength

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Hello

I am Zinta Harris. I live in Brisbane, Australia with my husband of 25 years, Craig (known by most as Harry) and our two children Teja and Zigi. I am a specialist wills and estates lawyer by day and inspiration seeker by night. I help Australian families navigate the legal fallout after the loss of a loved one in a calm and compassionate way. My mood is better after a daily double shot coffee and a glass or two of bubbles. I get my energy from people. My superpower is encouraging others. It is my sincere hope that this blog will encourage you. I hope it gives you a chance to chime in with your experience or to feel part of a community that has walked through a valley and made it through. Read about me

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Veuvey Happy Birthday to me! 🍾🥂🍾 I spent Veuvey Happy Birthday to me! 🍾🥂🍾

I spent the last two days sipping my way through a bottle (or three) of my favourite bubbles @veuveclicquot while spending time with my nearest and dearest! 💕🍾💕

It was a "nothing" birthday. 53... or is it 35? But seeing what I see as an estates lawyer I make sure I mark every one I am blessed to live! 💝💔💝

My heart is so full. I have been showered in love. I have shared so many laughs. I have eaten like a queen and danced like a rock star! I have had so much fun! 💞🤣🍾🥂🦪🕺🍾🥂🤣🤪😍

My amazing hubby sure knows how to spoil me rotten! 😘

Thank you all for your kind messages and calls. I truly feel loved and celebrated! 🥰🎂🥰
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A rare free dress day ahead of the school's cultu A rare free dress day ahead of the school's  cultural night.

I was sad to miss the fun this year to watch Zigi join Teja to represent Latvia! 

But at least Opa and @mara_siksna, Grandma @roslyn.harris.716 and Craig were there to cheer them on! 

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29 years married to this hunky man I am lucky enou 29 years married to this hunky man I am lucky enough to call my hubby! 💕

We just spent the most amazing 24 hours at @whotels Brisbane! Enjoying a mind-blowing degustation at @bacchusbrisbane last night and an incredible day spa experience at Away spa!🥰

We are so lucky. 💝

We are still in love. We still enjoy adventures together. We still make each other laugh. We still have each other. 😘

We take none of it for granted. 💘

Happy anniversary to us! 💞
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On Friday night I got to hang out with my bestie @ On Friday night I got to hang out with my bestie @tan_hall to see the opening of Aspire at the newly renovated home of the @qldballet at Talbot Theatre West End. 🩰

To watch their talented students perform three unique pieces with stunning interspersed solos was truly breathtaking.

It almost made me want to put my dancing shoes back on...but then I remembered my age (and distinct lack of equivalent talent)!🤣

The future of Qld Ballet is truly in wonderful hands! 🙌
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Happy birthday to my soul mate! AKA the hunky man Happy birthday to my soul mate! AKA the hunky man I get to call my hubby! 💕

We adore you.❤️

You are our world.🌏

We don't know what we did to deserve you.😘

We don't know how we would live without you. 🙃

We love you to the moon and the stars and back! 🌚

Happy 55th birthday you gorgeous man! 🎂

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One of the hats I get to wear is that of QACP comm One of the hats I get to wear is that of QACP committee member. 

The Queensland Association of Collaborative Professionals was established by a group of Family Law professionals decades ago when the collaborative practice model designed to help divorcing couples separate without going to court - first came to Australian shores. 

After learning about the model, then "stealing" it and tweaking it for Succession Law - I have been on the QACP committee since to help spread the word about how this model can transform the Wills & Estates space!

QACP are kicking off 2023 with a series of FREE "lunch and learn" sessions. The first one will be held at 12pm on 23 May. 

Clarissa Rayward and I will be hosting the first session on how to add Collaborative Practice to your tool kit (for Wills & Estates and Family Law). The session is open to lawyers, financial advisors, psychologists and mediators already working as collaborative professionals or for those interested in learning more about how to get involved!

So - if you have wondered how to offer family inclusive estate planning services to deliver a succession plan that is as watertight as it gets OR if you are yearning for a respectful out-of-court way to resolve estate disputes that eliminates agro and ego - this session will be of interest to you!

The link to register is: https://qacp.org.au/events-and-training/

I hope to see you there!

#collaborativeestates #collaborativelaw #estateplanning #estatelaw #succession #QACP #free
Every estate Law matter is different and your indi Every estate Law matter is different and your individual circumstances will determine what fee structure is best for you. 

We are committed to providing our clients with an open and transparent fee structure that is suitable for them.

Call us to learn more about our fixed-fee probate services on (07) 3371 0795.
Just as the sun emerges from behind the clouds aft Just as the sun emerges from behind the clouds after a rainy day, our lives can also have moments of darkness followed by moments of light and joy.

The sun always comes after the rain, and with each passing storm, we have the opportunity to learn, grow, and appreciate the beauty of life.

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