As we were driving to Esk this long weekend, we shared a conversation with our 11 year old daughter Teja – while Zigi slept.
One magical moment
It was about the importance of having people around you that you can call upon if you ever travel through a difficult time in your life. We talked about how we hope that she feels able to come to speak to us about anything… I think all parents hope for that – but I was grateful for the opportunity to say it. We also pointed out that, whenever she did not feel able to share with us, that she has others – cousins, older friends and babysitters she adores, who she can turn to for advice.
We spoke about the importance of making good decisions and seeking wise counsel particularly when in unfamiliar or difficult circumstances. How the decisions will always be hers to make. Some would be mistakes, others would be triumphs. What counted was not the success or the failure but whether or she would look back on her decisions with pride or with regret.
We talked about how some of the decisions we made were good, and how others didn’t go so well. We reflected on what helped us turn the consequence of a bad decision around. Kids should, I think, know that their parents aren’t perfect – that we are humans just like them. That we all make mistakes. That we all have to deal with the unexpected. That things sometimes go our way and other times not.
We are not by any stretch of imagination – amazingly wise parents. Most of the time we are totally winging it – but I wanted to share what was a “magical moment” that unexpectedly presented itself for us. We totally recognise that we are but early in this pre-teen journey. We can only pray that somehow these seeds of conversations had will fall on good soil, and take root in her own thinking.
Life is short
Yesterday my parents received news of a friend’s unexpected passing. Mum had seen her on the weekend and by Tuesday she was gone. Last night as we shared our family meal – we shared a few extra hugs and expressed our gratitude at having each other in our lives.
The importance of others
Having others in our lives is important. Having the “right kind of others” sometimes makes the difference between barely surviving and feeling carried through difficult moments in our life. And sometimes even having the “wrong kind of others” in our life can affect the trajectory our life takes.
I know that in my life I can look back at the influence of many. Those who have encouraged, those who have moulded, those who have challenged. Those who have forced me into corners I did not want to be in – who have unwittingly given me strength to overcome. Those who have seen me, when others didn’t. Those who have walked, and walked and walked beside me. Those who are blood and those who are family regardless.
For this I am forever grateful. I really must let these “others” know how much they have meant to me! Life is too short to leave these things unspoken.
Who are your “others” in your journey right now? Let them know how thankful you are for helping you through.